Helpless
by ChoCedric
Summary: "No! No! No! You've got the wrong man! Get your filthy hands off him!" James screamed as he threw his body at the fence which separated him from the mortal world, Lily sobbing hysterically beside him. This was unbearable, not being able to do anything as they witnessed Sirius Black being dragged off to a place worse than Hell itself.


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Helpless

By: ChoCedric

Lily and James Potter were currently looking over a fence that separated the living from the dead. Just over it, they could see their destroyed cottage in Godric's Hollow, where their precious fifteen-month-old son Harry was trapped. But they knew someone was coming, because they could hear the sound of a roaring motorbike getting closer and closer.

Just moments ago, they had witnessed the breaking of someone's heart as he held Lily's cold, pale, lifeless body to his chest, desperately staring into her blank emerald eyes, the howls coming from his mouth unearthly. Severus Snape.

Lily had had tears streaming down her face as she watched her once best friend repeat her name over and over again along with wails of, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Lily had felt such guilt at that moment – she had never truly known how much Severus had really loved her. She'd always suspected he had feelings for her, but she never knew the true depth of them. She had never loved him in the same way, and to see him totally fall apart over her body had squeezed her heart.

It had also been surreal to look down at her own body. She'd looked in a mirror thousands of times, but the effect of seeing her own corpse just lying there wasn't at all the same. It was at that moment that she truly understood: the body was just a vessel, and your essence was what really counted.

At the sound of the roaring motorbike, Severus had fled, not wanting to be glimpsed at the scene of devastation, and certainly not in the state he was in. But before he'd left, he'd choked out, "I love you, Lily Evans. Always." He'd looked into her eyes one last time before Apparating away, making her heart constrict again.

But now, Lily and James knew that the next thing they were about to witness would be even worse, for they knew very well who was riding that motorbike. Sirius Black was coming, and they knew how he'd react upon seeing the destroyed cottage, their bodies... God, it was torture, because they knew they could do nothing to comfort him. James remembered very well the fear and anguish on Sirius's face as they had embraced for the last time. "Stay safe, Prongs," he'd said with a cracking voice. "I can't afford to lose you."

James had known his friend for so long now that he knew his every quirk, and he knew that when Sirius loved someone, he loved with an intensity and desperation that would floor anyone who came in contact with him. His boundless loyalty and bravery was something to be admired. And when despair over losing a friend crashed over Sirius, it was like the eruption of a volcano.

And of course, he was right. He held Lily tightly as he saw Sirius jump off of his motorbike and scream, "NO!" He ran pell-mell to the destroyed house, through the broken door, and to the place where James knew his body was. "NO, NO, NO! PLEASE, GOD, NO!"

James and Lily felt a rush of anger at Wormtail as they saw the distraught, anguished look on Sirius's face. They knew that for the rest of his life, he would blame himself, blame himself for handing the position of Secret Keeper over to Peter. But the Potters didn't blame him – they knew he'd done it with the best of intentions. He'd only wanted to protect them.

The couple continued to watch, and their hearts broke as Sirius came upon the place where James's body lay. It had been surreal for him as well to see his own corpse, to look into his own sightless hazel eyes, to see the expression of heartache and determination he'd worn when his life had been snatched away with two words and the flick of a wand.

True to what they had known, Sirius totally fell apart at the sight of the body of his best friend. The screams that came out of his mouth were those of a wild animal in pain as he lifted James's body into his arms. He shook the dead man's shoulders violently, screamed for his best mate to wake up, stared desperately into his unseeing eyes. Sobs wracked his body, sobs torn from his very soul as he screamed for the man who had been a brother to him, more of a brother than Regulus had ever been.

Finally, Sirius lowered James's body gently back onto the ground, kissing his forehead and saying, "I love you, mate. I'm so, so sorry."

And the Potters continued to gaze on as Sirius ran up the broken stairs, not caring one bit if he got injured along the way. He barreled into Harry's nursery, and there was Lily. Sobbing anew, he collapsed over her, knowing she was as gone to him now as James was. "I love you," he choked as he tenderly touched the wet tracks still adorning Lily's face, left over from the tears she had cried while she'd been begging for the life of her baby. "I love you and I'm so, so sorry."

After a few more moments, he gently lowered Lily back to the ground, and looked into the crib, wanting to embrace little Harry for the last time, little Harry who he thought was gone too. But Lily and James, of course, knew differently. Lily still marveled at how her sacrifice had ended up saving her little boy. Her heart swelled as she gazed upon his cherubic face.

They saw the shock on Sirius's face as he looked into the emerald eyes of his godson, eyes which were open but not empty like Lily and James's. These eyes blinked at him. "Pafoo?" Harry said in a small, terrified voice.

"Harry?" Sirius croaked, immediately picking him up and holding him close. "Harry? How? How is this possible? Oh, why does it matter, I've got to get you out of here. You're safe now, kiddo. I'm going to take you away from all this."

They watched as Sirius looked one last time at Lily's body, his heart breaking all over again as he gazed upon her. Then, with a huge effort, he walked out of the room, down the stairs, past James's body and out of the destroyed house.

And standing outside was none other than Rubeus Hagrid.

"What's he doing there?" Lily croaked as she held her husband tightly, those being the first words she had spoken since Sirius had arrived on the scene.

Her question was answered a moment later as the half-giant said, "Sirius, I have strict orders from Dumbledore. I gotta take Harry with me."

And the Potters realized, with sinking hearts, that Dumbledore thought Sirius had betrayed them. He had never known of the Secret Keeper switch to Wormtail. A fresh wave of anger and hurt rose up as the full magnitude of what their old friend Peter had done washed over them again. How could the man who had once adored them have gone so far astray? And how could they not have seen it? We were too arrogant for our own good, Lily thought with self-disgust.

And she and James's fears of what could now happen to their baby only grew worse when Hagrid's next words were spoken. "He's gotta go to his aunt and uncle," he said softly.

"I'll kill him." Lily whispered furiously, tears gathering in her eyes. "Dumbledore can't possibly think that our Harry will have a good life with Petunia and Vernon! She stared through the fence at her precious child, knowing she could do nothing to stop this turn of events. It made her feel sick.

She and James continued to watch on as Sirius tried to fight with Hagrid, practically begging him to reconsider, to let him have Harry. But Hagrid was firm, and never had they resented his complete blind trust in Dumbledore more than at that moment.

Their hearts sunk even further as all the fight drained out of Sirius, only to be replaced with a gleam in his eyes they knew only too well. Revenge. Revenge was the only thing on the man's mind now. To be honest, the Potters could have been furious with him in that moment, furious that he had given up. But they also knew that this was a huge trait in Sirius; sometimes the man just didn't think, always going with what was in his heart rather than his mind. And James couldn't help but think, as Sirius kissed Harry's forehead right where the newly-formed lightening bolt cut was and handed him to Hagrid with a soft goodbye, that he might have done the same thing if their situations were reversed. That was why, after all, he and Sirius had bonded at the outset; both were very impulsive individuals who wore their hearts on their sleeves.

"Take my motorbike," Sirius said, still with that dangerous look in his eyes as he began to walk away from the ruins of the cottage in Godric's Hollow. "I won't need it anymore."

And so, it began. Lily and James held tightly onto each other, both trembling violently as Sirius's plan for revenge got under way. Things were about to go terribly, horribly wrong, and they knew it. Things never went the way they should when Sirius Black was in this kind of mood.

The waiting was endless. It was torture the likes of which they had never experienced before. Being under the Cruciatus Curse was sweet relief compared to this. "Don't do it, Sirius." James kept whispering, hoping desperately that somehow his best friend would hear him. But it was no use; Sirius kept going, walking down streets with nothing but murder in his heart.

Early morning finally came in the mortal world. Sirius was walking down a street in the heart of London. Muggles were making their way to work, minding their own business, not at all ready for the spectacle which was about to take place right in front of them.

There he was. Lily and James saw Peter the same time Sirius did. Heartbreak swept over them as well as the anger – what in Merlin's name had Peter become?

They saw Sirius run towards him, the look of blind rage on his face unparalleled. "I'VE GOT YOU, PETTIGREW!" he screamed, his grief and fury pushing the words out of him. "DON'T THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY FROM ME!"

"Sirius, no! Please, no! Please, Sirius, think!" James shouted, tears gathering in his eyes as he watched the confrontation unfold right in front of him, but was helpless to do anything about it. Lily was in his arms, her tears soaking into James's shirt as she watched one of her best friends get ready to split his soul. "It's not worth it! He's not worth it!" James continued to scream.

But Sirius, of course, didn't listen. He raised his wand to Peter, standing inches from him.

But instead of cowering in terror, what Peter did next caused the Potters to go into a state of profound shock. Time stopped; everything was in slow motion as Peter looked Sirius right in the eye and screamed, "LILY AND JAMES, SIRIUS! HOW COULD YOU?"

"OH NO YOU DIDN'T! HELL NO! NO YOU DIDN'T!" James screamed as red-hot rage swept over him. He knew what Peter was pulling and he hated it, hated it with every fiber of his being. He started pounding at the fence which separated him from the mortal world. "No! No! No! No! No!"

"James, we can't do anything..." Lily grabbed his hands, trying to get him to stop, but it was plain to see that it was hurting her as much as it was hurting James.

And so it was that they watched the worst thing that could possibly happen, happen. They saw as Sirius prepared to curse Peter, a look of blazing hatred on his face. But they also saw Peter raise his own wand from behind his back. And they saw him mouth the word "Obliterate."

And then the street exploded, debris raining down as innocent Muggles fell to the ground, some of them dead even before they hit it while others lay there, moaning in pain from the injuries they'd sustained. And Peter Pettigrew, their old best friend who they had never really known, used another spell to blast off one of his fingers. No one saw it except him, Lily, and Sirius, because everyone else was still in shock from what had happened. And following this, Peter turned into his Animagus form and scuttled into the sewers, leaving behind nothing but the severed finger and a pile of bloody robes..

James wrenched his hands away from Lily's as he now threw his whole body at the fence, not caring that this action was illogical. He would do anything, anything, to change the current situation. But no matter how hard he threw his body at it, it wouldn't budge. "WORMTAIL YOU BASTARD!" he screamed, his heart in agony as sobs tore out of him.

And then, things grew even worse as the tiny thread of sanity Sirius had left snapped. He started laughing, and laughing, and laughing, and laughing, and laughing. James knew that laughter – he'd heard it from Sirius whenever they had been in battle and yet another Order member had fallen. He'd heard it whenever anyone mentioned Sirius's family. And every time James had heard it, he'd somehow always known that one day, this laughter would get him into trouble and there would be nothing, absolutely nothing, James could do about it.

Within seconds, Ministry hit wizards Apparated onto the scene. James continued to scream, and Lily continued to sob hysterically, as they watched their best friend's wand get wrenched from his hand, as they watched ropes tie him up, as they watched a stunner from Kingsley Shacklebolt hit him straight in the chest, stopping his deranged laughter abruptly.

And they knew they were helpless, helpless to do anything as they watched Sirius Black being dragged to a place worse than Hell itself.


End file.
